Leonardo Da Vinci once said, “I love those who can smile in
trouble, who can gather in strength, and grow in reflection. ‘Tis the business
of little minds to shrink but they whose heart is firm, and whose conscience
approves their conduct, will pursue their principles unto death”…
I think I’ve finally reached a point where I need to detach
from social media and technology.
We’ve all had these moments where Facebook becomes overwhelming with
friend’s opinions, judgments, criticisms, and negativity. Lately I’ve been feeling like the bad
is really heavy and the scale is not even closed to balanced. I sat most of Saturday on duty, thinking
about what I need to change about myself to be more at peace internally. I thought to myself… “maybe I could use
to exercise more and make less excuses, I should really stop eating so much
chocolate and go back to eating more quinoa and non-inflammatory foods, I need
to stop spending so much money and buying things that I think are going to make
me satisfied, maybe I should start painting again – I’ve always enjoyed
painting (but ugh – I always make such a mess and I really don’t have a
designated spot for that in my house… I wonder if my mom has my easel still?),
I should probably get back to drinking lots more water, I really haven’t been
drinking much lately, I’ve been talking about going back to Bikram but I always
make an excuse not to go – maybe I should go, maybe my job is too stressful…”
and the thoughts just continued coming.
I think on to how blessed my life really is, and how I shouldn’t feel
like I’m surrounded by negativity.
Kyle and I have been lucky enough to afford a nice home to live in,
furnish it with our desires, a new puppy; we were able to save for, a boat, nice (new!) reliable vehicles, stable jobs,
ours (and our families) good health… what is the issue here?
Then I scrolled through my news feed on Facebook as sort of
a mental distraction… everywhere I see - two NYPD cops shot point blank in
their patrol car while working overtime on some anti-terrorism drill (wait, we
do that stuff all the time in the Coast Guard!). My stomach turns.
Jake works as an EMT in that area.
I click article after article, looking through pictures from the scene,
for my brother. I finally stop to
read one of the articles and learn that this was a planned retaliation. Retaliation? Makes me sick to just continue to sit here and type about
this. We are living in a world
where we are blinded by what we think we know and ignorant to trying to learn
what we don’t know. We let ourselves
become absorbed with the media.
This country is believed to have come leaps and bounds in the race war,
but it is a far cry from being over, and I feel that because of social media,
people are becoming entitled. Why
would one man think that it is okay to avenge the death of two strangers by
killing two other men who had nothing to do with the original losses in life in
the first place? It is completely
insane. I cannot wrap my head
around it, and all I can see through Facebook is people picking fights with one
another through comments. Snarking
to one another about not being able to breath, hands up don’t shoot, etc. These slogans that have become
recognizable in our households, should not have purpose and meaning. By publicizing and making astronomical
stories out of these unfortunate situations, lessons are not being learned, but
instigations are being ensued. My
intention is not to create a controversy or conversation off of this post, but
my stomach is in knots. I think
about Michael Brown’s family and having to hear the loss of their son, I think
about Officer Wilson’s family and having to deal with the media’s backlash and
the fact that he is going to have to play back that day in his mind forever and
question his actions as a trained police officer, I think about Garner, and the two
cops who were killed Saturday, five days before Christmas, I think about the man
who killed himself after he shot those officers (and his girlfriend last week)
and the pain and suffering he must have been feeling to commit such awful acts,
and the pain and suffering all these families have to somehow manage to get
through, and that the media blows these stories out of the water and they will
have to deal with that as well.
So I sit here, and I think to myself, when is it going to
end? ... it’s never going to end.
The way things are going, it’s not going to get better before it gets
worse.
I really wanted to write a blog summarizing the past year,
because it has been one of the fastest, busiest, and most whirlwind I think in
my life. I really intended on
doing it and sending it out with my Christmas cards (like people used to do - or do they still? I don't know?), because this year, like
last year, we didn’t get Christmas cards, because no one knew our new address, again. I want to stay connected with my family
and close friends on more of a personal level than just through my often
sardonic and sarcastic status updates.
Life gets serious sometimes, and that’s usually when I use the
phone. I really feel like I need
more positive energy flowing into mine and Kyle’s lives, so I’m taking a bit of
a techno break from my typical schedule.
I’m logging out of Facebook
- not deleting – just logging off.
I don’t need notifications.
I don’t need distractions.
I don’t need to mindlessly scroll through my news feed and see what half
my friends ate in the last 24 hours, what’s trending on HuffPost, and what 20
stupid things I will never see again according to Buzzfeed. I am going to put take my phone out of
my pocket when I’m at work. I will
check it when I leave work. When
I’m at work I should be focusing on work, not my phone when it buzzes in my
pocket, not worrying about who liked my photo on Instagram. When I get home, I’ll stick it in the
kitchen and it will live there.
We need to slow down. We
need to stop mindlessly letting our brains control our thoughtless
emotions. If every time I scrolled
through my news feed on Facebook, I instead did 10 pushups, I’d be jacked...think about it.
